Walter Thompson-Hernández takes flight with a directorial debut that will pull at your heartstrings.
One day you wake up and realize your parents are human just like you. If I Go Will They Miss Me follows Lil Ant (Bodhi Dell) as he is forced to come to that realization and reckon with the flaws of his father, Big Ant (J. Alphonse Nicholson).
If I Go opens with Big Ant as a child, his youthful innocence on full display as he shows much of the same sensitivity and passion for art we later see from his son. The narrative shifts to the present day, where Big Ant is torn between allowing his son to be his true self and forcing him to “man up” in the way that Big Ant had to.
The film invokes Greek mythology to present a clear contrast between Lil Ant’s idolization of Big Ant and the troubled relationship they actually share, making the divide between myth and reality painfully clear.
If I Go impressively switches between poetic musings and realistic conversations. The down-to-earth authenticity in the characters' interactions ultimately balances out the lack of subtlety in the film’s portrayal of its themes.
The actors take full advantage of every moment to add layers of depth and emotion to their characters. Even in her limited screentime, Danielle Brooks shines as Lil Ant’s mother, Lozita, who fights to keep her family intact while knowing deep down it may not be for the best.
Taking place in the Watts neighborhood of Los Angeles, the film explores a historically Black community experiencing economic hardship following the 1965 Watts Rebellion. Walter Thompson-Hernández’s stint reporting on the neighborhood for the New York Times is evident as he vibrantly brings it to life.
The neighborhood's proximity to LAX provides If I Go’s central recurring motif: flight. The camera repeatedly lingers on planes flying overhead, taunting the characters with an escape that is so close yet out of reach. The film eloquently visualizes an evolving image of a group of young boys, arms outstretched, ready to take flight but never given the chance. We’re left to wonder – Big Ant may have been prevented from taking off, but is it too late for Lil Ant to escape that same fate?
Thompson-Hernández makes a stylistic choice that briefly disrupts the flow of the narrative at its climax, weakening the impact of the film’s ideas at its thematic apex. But If I Go sticks the landing with a powerful final shot that will linger in your mind long after leaving the theater.